In announcing changes to the school lunches programme, David Seymour said kids would no longer be served ‘woke’ foods. To clear up any confusion, The Spinoff has compiled a guide to the wokeness levels of some common food items.
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Based on that list; here are two ChatGPT generated meal plans, one for a woke person and one for a not woke person (don’t ask about the numbers, it probably can’t count):
Woke Meal Plan:
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Breakfast: Avocado toast with quinoa sprinkles (Approx. 350 calories)
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Snack: Banana with almond butter (Approx. 200 calories)
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Lunch: Quinoa salad with chickpeas, mixed greens, and avocado (Approx. 450 calories)
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Snack: Hummus with carrot sticks (Approx. 150 calories)
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Dinner: Tofu stir-fry with a side of non-dairy milk (Approx. 400 calories)
Total calories: Approximately 1550 calories
Not Woke Meal Plan:
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Breakfast: Bacon and cheese omelette with a side of toast and cow’s milk (Approx. 600 calories)
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Snack: Chocolate chip muffin (Approx. 400 calories)
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Lunch: Burger and fries with a milkshake (Approx. 1200 calories)
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Snack: Cheese and crackers (Approx. 300 calories)
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Dinner: Spaghetti-topped pizza with a side of garlic bread and a glass of cow’s milk (Approx. 800 calories)
Total calories: Approximately 3300 calories
These are rough estimates and may vary depending on specific ingredients and portion sizes.
Why does it insist on accompanying dinner with a glass of milk?
For getting a contrast b/w dairy and non-dairy
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Just hoping that everyone understands that The Spinoff, like The Onion, is a satirical website
Except that it isn’t.
The Spinoff is a New Zealand online magazine and news website that was founded in 2014. It is known for current affairs coverage, political and social analysis, and cultural commentary.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Spinoff
Founded in 2014, The Spinoff has grown to become Aotearoa’s most innovative independent media organisation with a focus on vibrant, modern coverage of current affairs and pop culture.
Known as ‘the mid-shelf red wine of New Zealand journalism’, The Spinoff focuses on stories and issues that affect everyday New Zealanders across our core sections of pop culture, politics, Ātea, books and kai.
Ambitious, curious and always seeking multiple perspectives, we’ve built a trophy cabinet of prestigious journalistic awards, and continue to attract the country’s top creative talent.
Regardless, the article itself is satirical.
Only a little:
Jesus, they’re really going to change the name to Aotearoa aren’t they. Very silly.
Why is that silly?
