That’s a great comment. I go though basically the same steps with my constant flow of embarrassing and/or sad memories
If they’re useful then maybe I should explore this thought for a little longer, or try to speak with someone
If I have nothing to gain from it and it’s just making me cringe or sad I try to do something else to distract myself
It’s important to not shut these memories down immediately. Some memories really need to be explored in order for you to properly leave them in the past. And you can bottle up a bunch of emotions if you refuse to think about thoughts that come to you constantly.
I’m sorry that you had a bad experience with your psychologist.
If I can point out one thing that might help you is that these thoughts largely come from an evolutionary trait called Negative Bias
Negative Bias is the disproportionate focus on bad events and/or memories compared to good events.
It applies to a large range of memories and our ability to perceive danger. Evolutionary it makes sense because our embarrassing memories makes us afraid or unwilling to behave in a way that the social group doesn’t like.
You can imagine when humans lived in societies in small groups of 30 people, that disrespecting someone could get you kicked out of the group and potentially starve to death in the wild. So there is a very strong evolutionary pressure that made your brain evolve to avoid repeating bad scenarios
Your constant embarrassing, sad, or traumatic memories are your brain reminding you over and over not to be in that situation again.
Unfortunately your brain didn’t evolve to be happy. It evolved to survive.
All I wanted to explain is that these memories are not your fault. Don’t feel like you’re any different because you have bad memories constantly. Accept that your brain will do what it is programmed to do and learn how to work around those tendencies.
And I could recommend trying another psychologist. I’m also available to chat if you’d like. Cheers 🙂